


Don't you dare do something stupid again

by swanqueen_vauseman



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Swan Queen - Freeform, Swan-Mills Family, very brief mention of suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-21 01:43:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6033496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swanqueen_vauseman/pseuds/swanqueen_vauseman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma thinks she is not worthy and that she is replaceable, but after ending up in the hospital she might see things in a new light. Of course, with the help of someone really special that also thinks she's not good enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't you dare do something stupid again

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! So, this little story will actually be just a couple chapters long but still I hope you'll like it. I know, I know, I haven't updated "I'll always love you" but school has been chaotic, I had some sort of wrtier's block but hopefully now I'm back on track.
> 
> TW: There's a very tiny reference to suicide, however no one kills themselved but if it makes you uncomfortable you can skip the second and third paragraphs.
> 
> Italics are past events and what the letter said.
> 
> All mistakes are mine.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own OUAT.
> 
> On with the show

Emma was staring at the number that appeared on her bank account, it wasn't a lot but hopefully it would be enough to help Regina send Henry to college. She looked at all her possessions and tried not to hit herself with something at seeing that she had become attached to a place and to a group of people and that she had had to known better.

She had been crying for a week straight and it seemed there were no more tears left, but seeing that she wouldn't leave Henry a lot, only made the self-loathing even worse. She was such a disappointment and everyone would be better without her.

No, she wasn't going to kill herself because she knew she didn't have the courage to go through the whole process. Fuck, even at that she was a fucking disappointment. No body needed her and all she did was make things worse or not being good enough and, deep down, she knew she would never be.

She thought she had found a home, she thought she had found the parents she always had been looking for, she thought she would see her son grow up and she thought she had a chance to be with the woman she loved; but of course, her home wasn't her home, her parents had her little brother and treated her as if she wasn't even there, Henry looked at her with disappointment in her eyes and he would still have Regina to look after her, and Regina just looked at her as a pathetic excuse of human being.

Emma had packed everything in boxes, but she wouldn't take any, they were just a cruel memory of what could have been. Her family could do with them whatever they wanted, they were just a waste of space, jut as she was. The only thing she would be taking was her baby blanket. Tonight, she would sleep at the park, even is it was freezing outside, and then she would leave Storybrooke. She only had a few dollars in her pocket and hoped it would be enough to get her to the next town and start a new life, once again.

She had prepared the letter she would leave to her family, because to her they were still her family even if she wasn't for them. It wouldn't even surprise if they didn't even bother to read them and just throw them away. She had been thrown away all her life, it just would be the reassurance that she wasn't worth it.

_Emma was stepping out of the shower, she had a feeling that it would be a happy day but then she heard her little brother crying and the door from the loft opening and closing and her mother just as angry as ever. Then the crying stopped and thought that, that was it but when she went down to say good morning she was met with glaring eyes, anger and disappointment in them._

" _Why didn't you feed him?" Mary Margaret asked._

_Emma suddenly felt like the little girl in the foster system, one that seemed that she couldn't do anything right._

" _I was getting out of the shower, I thought you were home." Emma answered in a whisper._

" _I told you I had to go out early, why couldn't you be more careful? Really Emma, was it too much to ask?"_

" _I'm sorry, I-" Emma tried to apologized but Mary Margaret was already leaving the kitchen. She heard Mary Margaret muttering something along the lines of useless, and Emma felt just as that._

_The next day, Henry was telling her that tomorrow was the day to bring your father or mother in, to show to the rest of the class what the did and so._

" _So, who are you taking, kid?" Emma asked and hoped that it would be her; she was the Savior after all, that had to count for something right?_

" _Mom, duh." Henry answered and it was as if she was only the cool aunt, not her other mother. "She was the Evil Queen how cool is that? I mean, not the part where she killed hundreds of people but she ruled over an entire kingdom and lived in a castle. She must have millions of anecdotes and stories and everything." Henry answered._

_Emma saw just a tiny bit of disappointment in his eyes, directed towards her, a glare that said 'Why aren't you cool enough?' or maybe it was more like 'I don't want to take you because I don't want to be embarrassed.' And Emma tried to keep her smile even if she was dying on the inside; first her mother, that showed her she wasn't a good daughter nor a good sister and now her son, that showed her that she wasn't a good mother._

_The following day wasn't any better, she was in the Sheriff station when Regina barged in._

" _Sheriff Swan, may I ask what are these?" Regina asked and threw all the folders on top of Emma's desk._

" _The incident reports of the week." Emma answered and was just a bit confused. She had delivered them on time, had filled everything, what had she done wrong?_

" _You mean that you can read that letter of yours? For a moment I thought that a five-year-old had written them, oh that's right you are five-years-old, not even being able to fill a decent report. I don't think even the most experienced calligraphists would be able to decipher what they say." Regina hissed, and walked away, not before throwing at Emma one last comment. "Pathetic."_

_Emma sank in her chair and tried to not let the tears fall down. That made three persons that thought she wasn't worth it, but Regina's comment hurt a bit too much and made her realized that everyone would be better off without her. Her father could still be the Sheriff; she was just replaceable in everything she did._

It took her a week to get everything ready, she left her bank account at Regina's name so she could run that money however she saw fit, and she had left the bug to Henry, though she was pretty sure that Regina would make it burn down before Henry set a foot in it.

It's the middle of the night when she goes out of the apartment towards the park, because even she knows that she would not be able to go to the next town before freezing to death, though sleeping in the park is a very close second.

And so she sleeps, with only her baby blanket to cover her, but even that isn't enough for the Maine winter.

Mary Margaret and David woke up, baby Neal was still sleeping and they were surprised Emma hadn't come down from breakfast. Mary Margaret still had to apologize for the way she treated Emma the other day, school had been too much to handle but it wasn't an excuse for the way she treated Emma, but every time she tried to talk to her, Emma locked herself up in her room mumbling some excuse of not feeling well.

When entering the kitchen, that's when they saw the envelope addressed to them. They opened it and they couldn't believe what they were reading.

_Dear Mom and Dad,_

_First of all, I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for not being the daughter you wanted. I know I wasn't the most attentive or sensitive person but I hope you know that I love you so very much and that I am very grateful for finding you. I know you wanted me to be the Savior and the Princess I was meant to be, and I'm sorry I failed you._

_I know that you'll be great parents, baby Neal is already an awesome baby and he couldn't have asked for better parents. Please don't ever doubt that._

_I left my belonging already in boxes in the room upstairs, and I'm sorry I was such a waste of space and time but I didn't realize it until recently. If I had realized it earlier, I would have moved out, trust me the last thing I ever wanted to be was a burden to you. You can do whatever you want with them, keep them, donate them, burn them._

_I hope you won't forget me._

_I'm sorry for everything and I love you so much,_

_Emma_

Mary Margaret and David were openly crying, had they really made her daughter feel worthless? They had to find her.

At the same time, in the house on 108 Mifflin Street, a certain mayor was waking up and making her way to prepare breakfast for her son. Today, she was determines to invite the Sheriff on a date, she had been falling in love with her for the last couple months; she was prepared for rejection, because who would ever in their sane mind date the Evil Queen? She had so many things to apologize for, beginning with the reports she gave the Sheriff the other day, yes they were illegible but maybe she could have said that in a nicer way; she was actually going to ask her on a date that day but she panicked and retreated behind the mask of the Mayor.

She had practically insulted Emma's capacity to do something and might have just ruined the chance of having the possibility to be with her, even before anything had started.

Just then, like magic and probably it was, an envelope appeared in her kitchen, with her name on it and with the same letter she had come to known very well.

She opened and wanted to go back in time, a week back in time to be exact.

_Dear Regina,_

_I love you. I'm sorry I didn't have the courage to tell you before but I couldn't handle the rejection on your face if I ever said that to you. I love you with all my heart and I always will. You're the best mother Henry could have and you are certainly the best chance I thought of when I gave him up._

_You're such an incredible, amazing, gorgeous, beautiful and strong woman, don't ever forget that. I really hope you'll find happiness, it's the only thing I ever wanted for you and I know that you'll find it; but in order to do that, you have to learn that you are capable of loving, that you're worth it, learn to not belittle yourself._

_I know that you'll probably just burn this letter because I know that I'm just a pathetic excuse of human being, but I couldn't leave Storybrooke without the opportunity of telling you and the hope that you might read this._

_Please tell Henry that I'm sorry but that I had to do this, everyone will be better without me, and that I love him so much._

_I love you,_

_Emma_

Regina fell to her knees, clutching the letter to her chest and tears running down her cheeks. What had she done? She barely remembered calling Emma "pathetic" the other day, but the blonde had as many insecurities as her if not more and she knew the power of words.

She had to fix this, but how? Emma had already left Storybrooke but then why was she still feeling Emma's magic? But it felt like it was slowly diminishing, less strong by the minute.

So, Emma was still in Storybrooke and the only thing that was left was to know where she was. At that time, her cell phone rang and she saw in the ID it was Mary Margaret. She answered.

"Mary Margaret please tell me you know where Emma is." Regina pleaded with her; they had slowly been forming a sort of friendship and they no longer wanted to kill each other.

"That's why we're calling you, Regina. We thought you knew where she was." Mary Margaret let out a sob. Something had happened besides her calling Emma pathetic, but she would figure out that later and yell at Mary Margaret and the other Charming for being a pair of idiots… After yelling at herself for being one.

"Ok Mary Margaret, calm down. She's still in Storybrooke, I can feel her magic but we need to find her fast." Regina dragged he hand across her face, because Storybrooke was not only Main Street and Mifflin Street but there were the woods and the cannery and the docks and the park.

The park. She remembered Emma telling her once that one time she ran away from one of her foster homes and slept at park. Said it wasn't the most suitable option but she had always found the parks quite peaceful.

"I think I know where to find her but I need you to come over and stay with Henry." Regina didn't bother to see if Mary Margret had heard but she supposed she had, and hung up.

She poofed herself some clean clothes and the she poofed herself to the park and now, on to find Emma.

It didn't take long, the park wasn't very big and there were so many benches and only one of them had a figure sleeping on it. With only a thin blanket on top of them, a blanket that didn't even reach their legs, it was easy to assume who that person was. Even when Regina cursed everyone, she hadn't left anyone homeless, and the only person missing right now was Emma.

"Emma!" Regina yelled when she saw yellow hair, confirmation that the person there was Emma. Emma didn't even stir and that only helped to make Regina even more worried. She ran towards were Emma was lying.

When she reached her, she couldn't help the gasp that left her mouth, because Emma was almost blue from the cold of the night; most likely, hypothermia had already made its way through the blonde's body.

"Emma, please wake up. Don't you dare leave me." Regina sobbed as she tried to shake Emma awake, though she knew that it wasn't going to work. Immediately she poofed herself and Emma to the hospital, hoping that it wouldn't be too late.

When they arrived, and because Emma was the Savior all the nurses and Doctor Whale started checking on her.

"We need to warm her, come on people. We have to move." Doctor Whale said and then a nurse appeared with a gurney to move Emma to the emergency room. Whale returned her gaze to Regina, who stood immobile to what was happening.

"What did you do?" Whale spat, and then walked away to help Emma.

"I… I…" Regina stuttered and wanted to say that she hadn't done anything but in reality, she knew that calling Emma pathetic and whatever the two idiots had done were the cause that now Emma was in life-threatening danger.

She waited for what felt for hours, until Whale came back to give her an update.

"We have to wait till she wakes up to see if there is any brain damage from the lack of oxygen she received but other than that, she'll be fine. She's still unconscious but you can go in there." Whale explained and he only did that because Emma's emergency contact was no other than Regina, though he didn't think Regina knew.

"Won't you call her parents?" Regina asked.

"You're her emergency contact, so you can do whatever you want." Whale said and then left, so he could go check on the other patients he had.

Regina gaped at that information, why would Emma put her as her emergency contact? She walked to Emma's room and sat on one of the chairs that were placed there and then she waited for the blonde to wake up.

Emma was slowly regaining consciousness. She could hear a faint beep to her right and she could feel her body all sore. The last thing she remembered was sleeping at the park and she was quite sure the park wasn't this warm.

Slowly she opened her eyes and at first she had to close them right back because the light was too much, but after a few seconds she finally was able to open them and adjust to the light.

She looked at her surroundings and realized that she was in the hospital. Oh gods, that was bad. If she was in the hospital, they would have called Regina because she was her emergency contact and the brunette would have probably made some snide remark of why would she care.

Shit, she hadn't told Regina she was her emergency contact. Well, better now than never and she would have to start looking for a new emergency contact because surely the last thing Regina would ever want was to worry about her. After all, she was just as pathetic as anyone could be.

After starting regaining her senses in her arms and legs, she felt something holding her right hand and a weight that she was sure wasn't hers. She tried to free herself from whatever was holding her down and turned her head to realize that there was a person holding her and with her head next to her arm asleep. More specifically, that person was no other than Regina.

"Regina?" Emma said barely above a whisper and in a raspy voice, not only from being asleep or unconscious but also it hurt a little. As if she was having a cold.

Regina however only stirred a little, not giving any signs of actually waking up.

"Regina?" Emma repeated in a louder voice and finally this seemed to do the trick.

Regina lifted her head and saw that Emma was finally awake and couldn't help the happy tears that rolled down her cheeks as she engulfed the blonde into an almost breathtaking hug, in the literal sense.

"Emma! I was so worried; please promise me you won't do anything stupid again. Your parents can't lose you, Henry can't lose you." Regina hesitated for a brief moment. "I can't lose you."

Emma sighed. "Please Regina, we all know that I'm just replaceable. Besides, everyone seems to think I'm just useless, a bad sister, a bad daughter, a bad mom and pathetic. So Regina, I really much doubt that anyone would miss me at all." Emma firmly stated, hurt in her voice and her head down; she wouldn't be able to bare the look on Regina's face. She didn't even bother to ask if Regina had read the letter; most probably, she had just fired one of her famous fireballs the moment she saw from whom it was.

"I'm so sorry Emma. For calling you pathetic the other. You're anything but pathetic; as for the rest, I can assure that you're not useless, you're the Savior, the Sheriff and that certainly is not useless, you are a great sister, I've seen you with baby Neal and I can tell he most definitely adores you. You are just the daughter your parents wanted, even if they weren't around to raise you. And you are certainly a good mother to Henry, even when you indulge him in some of those greasy foods every now and then, Henry loves you and you care for him and you love him. Everything a good mother would do." Regina said, still with tears flowing down but sincerity dripping from her voice.

Emma was actually having a hard time trying not to believe what Regina was saying.

"The other day I really didn't go to the sheriff's station to complain about the reports, though granted, they provided me with the excuse to go. They were unintelligible but I snapped at you like that because I couldn't gather the courage to actually ask you what I intended to ask."

Regina took a deep breath and wondered if Emma was actually listening and if she should continue. _You know what? Fuck it all, and ask her, it's not really as if she's going to say yes; at least, not after what had happened._ Regina thought for herself.

That picked the interest in Emma, what was Regina going to ask her? It's not as if she would suddenly declare her love for Emma and ask her on a date. She hadn't even mentioned the letter.

"I love you too Emma Swan. When I read your letter I thought I had lost my chance of actually telling you. And that day when I went with the reports, I was going to ask you on a date but who am I kidding? It's not as if you would actually say yes, specially after the way I hurt you. I know that now I have lost any chance of actually being with you because you deserve someone better, someone that isn't the Evil Queen, someone…" Regina paused, feeling the sobs wrecking her body. "Just someone better." Regina sighed, and though she was prepared for rejection she knew that actually seeing it on Emma's face would be ten times worse. She stood up, wiped a few tears and gather the courage to look at Emma, just one more time. Just enjoying this moment before the woman she loved told her to go away.

"I'm going to call your parents, they are really worried about you. I'm really sorry about everything and I would understand if you don't want to see me or talk to me outside of work." Regina said while heading towards the door. "I love you." Regina whispered but before she could actually exit the room she heard Emma speak.

Emma all this time was just gaping at what Regina was telling her. She must be imagining things, this wasn't actually happening and it was just a product of her imagination and most likely the drugs in her system. Yep, that was the only logical explanation behind Regina returning her feelings. It took a while for Emma to get out the trance but when she did and processed everything Regina said, she was not about to lose the other woman.

"You're not the Evil Queen." Emma stated.

"What?" Regina stopped dead in her tracks and wondered if she had heard correctly.

"You're not the Evil Queen and my answer is yes." Emma said, and actually had a smile on her face since what felt ages.

"What?" Yep, definitely Regina had gone completely mad and was now hearing things no one was actually saying.

Emma chuckled; this was the first time she had actually seen Regina speechless; she hoped that there would be a lot more time when she would render the woman speechless and she already was thinking of some. "I said that you're not the Evil Queen, that is the third time I've repeated it in less than five minutes and I'll continue to do so until you believe it yourself and that my answer is yes, I'd love to go on a date with you." Emma finished and wondered what Regina's reaction would be.

Regina just stood there, not actually sure what was happening. Did Emma just agree to go on a date with her? She slowly went back to Emma's side and sat again to look more closely to any sign of a lie on the blonde's face.

"You're serious? You're not just taking pity on me?" Regina said in the most vulnerable voice.

Emma moved her head from side to side. "Nope, I'm being totally and completely serious. I would love to go on a date with you. I love you too Regina and I forgive for everything." Emma said.

"Is it okay if I kiss you?" Regina asked.

Emma nodded and Regina leaned over her so she could reach the blonde's lips without making Emma do too much of an effort. The kiss was just everything they hoped it would be: soft, a promise, gentle and loving.

"Please don't you dare leave me." Regina begged.

"I'm not planning on going anywhere for as long as you'll have me." Emma said with a soft smile on her face.

"I still need to call your loving parents. Whale told me that when you woke up and showed no signs of any critical danger, he would let you go in a couple days. Is it okay if we have our date the day after you get out? I mean, we could totally change it for another day, like if you are tired or you have something else to do or-or-or if you want to wait a little longer…" Regina rambled, something Emma hadn't seen and thought would never see in a lifetime.

"The day after I get out is perfectly okay." Emma interrupted her.

Regina calmed down and leaned to kiss Emma one more time.

"Thank you. I love you, I'll be right back." Regina whispered and left the room.

Emma just sat there with a goofy grin on her face, she couldn't wait to get out of the damn hospital and have her date with Regina.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you think :)


End file.
